Precis
I am working as a paid trainee at Neil Bardal's Funeral home. I got a tour of the cremation center. I learned the different parts and the process of being turned from a human into a complete ash. I met all my co-workers and the roles that they play at the funeral home.
Quotes
*Humans are the only creatures who know they're going to die, and even worse, they know they know it, and it's not something they can "unknow".
*This whole place is built like a theatre; a public space up front with its living room set, and a backstage where all the magic happens.
*Every former soul that comes in through the garage door is assigned a number; it's written in Sharpie on their cardboard box and the corpse's wristband , not unlike the wristbands they issue at raves and folks festivals.
*Neil Bardal says we need the ritual to know the person who's died. We need to see the body, we want the proof; we're empirical, modern, enlightened souls who benefit from looking at death when it comes, standing up to sing and pray in its presence.
*the dead are uncooperative, but they respond to gravity and brute force, a kind of mortuary tough-love.
Analytical Paragraph
After reading the first 1/3 of the book. I first thought it wasnt going to be interesting but it actually was. The main idea of it was how the whole process with creamtion and funerals is all an job and you can't really have emotions attached with your job. The whole time of the beginning of the book, the author ws in disabelief a little bit adjusting to everything while it was just a daily routine to the people around him. The whole death concept is a process the do's and don'ts. There is a price to everything we do. I feel like from the Curtains you get a better insight on people's actions and emotions on how they feel about deceased people. Neil the owner was saying that it was evolved and that the whole process of death is not what it used to be.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
HW#48 - Family Perspectives on the Care of the Dead
1.)When you die, how would you like to happen to your body? Why?
2.)What was your first experience with death? How did you feel?
3.)Have you ever attended a funeral/awake? If so, how many?
4.)Do you believe in after life?
5.)How do you feel about the dominant social practices of the care of the dead in society today?
My Mom
1.) I want to be cremated because i don't like the thought of being so many feet under. I just rather be cremated where my family can see me everyday.
2.)Wow that a tough one, i would have to say my grandmother's you know Mita. I felt really sad. She was really sick but i didn't want her to die.
3.)Yes i've been to alot. At least 4 or 5
4.)I do but then again i don't.
5.)I think that everybody has their perpective of treating the dead. I think that all of the techniques are good and well-thoughtout. It's whatever satifies you.
My Aunt
1.)Im on the fence. I don't know if i want to be buried or cremated. I kind of don't want to think about it. Clark can make that decision for me when the time comes.
2.)Ive experienced a lot but the most memorable one was your grandfather's. He was very close to me. I felt kind of trapped by the fact that he was gone. I couldn't believe he died.
3.)Yea a couple i dont remeber exactly.
4.)Yes i very much do.
5.)I think that they are ok.
Talking to my mom about her views on death compared to my aunt were slightly different. Being that my aunt was older than her by at least 20 years, i thought maybe she would know how she was like her body to be like unlike my moms. It seems like she hasn't put much thought in her death as you thought someone would. While interviewing my mom she became very emotional, talking about this lead to my grandfather's death (her father) to how our whole family just split apart instead of becoming closer and stronger as one. They both didn't have much disagreement on the views of caring the dead by the fact they grew up the same way in a catholic religionist background. We grew up learning only one type way and not anything else so it's hard to switch our views to something else. For all typical hispanic backgrounds religion is a big part and most of the ceremonies are in spanish because that is our culture. My mom mentioned that she doesn't want anybody to cry but be happy and laughed. I feel like its a tough situation how can you have all smiles when the one you love is deceased? Would that be considered disrespectful? I feel like that is a hard place to say.
2.)What was your first experience with death? How did you feel?
3.)Have you ever attended a funeral/awake? If so, how many?
4.)Do you believe in after life?
5.)How do you feel about the dominant social practices of the care of the dead in society today?
My Mom
1.) I want to be cremated because i don't like the thought of being so many feet under. I just rather be cremated where my family can see me everyday.
2.)Wow that a tough one, i would have to say my grandmother's you know Mita. I felt really sad. She was really sick but i didn't want her to die.
3.)Yes i've been to alot. At least 4 or 5
4.)I do but then again i don't.
5.)I think that everybody has their perpective of treating the dead. I think that all of the techniques are good and well-thoughtout. It's whatever satifies you.
My Aunt
1.)Im on the fence. I don't know if i want to be buried or cremated. I kind of don't want to think about it. Clark can make that decision for me when the time comes.
2.)Ive experienced a lot but the most memorable one was your grandfather's. He was very close to me. I felt kind of trapped by the fact that he was gone. I couldn't believe he died.
3.)Yea a couple i dont remeber exactly.
4.)Yes i very much do.
5.)I think that they are ok.
Talking to my mom about her views on death compared to my aunt were slightly different. Being that my aunt was older than her by at least 20 years, i thought maybe she would know how she was like her body to be like unlike my moms. It seems like she hasn't put much thought in her death as you thought someone would. While interviewing my mom she became very emotional, talking about this lead to my grandfather's death (her father) to how our whole family just split apart instead of becoming closer and stronger as one. They both didn't have much disagreement on the views of caring the dead by the fact they grew up the same way in a catholic religionist background. We grew up learning only one type way and not anything else so it's hard to switch our views to something else. For all typical hispanic backgrounds religion is a big part and most of the ceremonies are in spanish because that is our culture. My mom mentioned that she doesn't want anybody to cry but be happy and laughed. I feel like its a tough situation how can you have all smiles when the one you love is deceased? Would that be considered disrespectful? I feel like that is a hard place to say.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Hw#47 - Peer Perspectives on the Care of the Dead
Questions:
1.)When you die, how would you like to happen to your body? Why?
2.)What was your first experience with death? How did you feel?
3.)Have you ever attended a funeral/awake? If so, how many?
4.)When you're in that kind of environment, how does it make you feel?
5.)Do you believe in after life?
6.)How do you feel about the dominant social practices of the care of the dead in society today?
My Friend Dakota
1.)I personally want to be cremated. Just the thought of what happens beneathe the ground. I dont want to be buried. I would rather be cremated. I also dont want people crying. I want everybody to enjoy themselves.
2.)My uhm grandmother,i had seen other deaths but yea. I felt sad. i didnt understand. I didnt want her to be sick. We all are gonna have our time.
3.)Yes i have and multiple.
4.)It makes me feel sad because you reflect on the person's life and the moments you had with them.
5.)Im in the middle. I believe in it and then i dont. Im partial.
6.)I think its good.
My friend Lissy
1.)I honestly have mixed emotions right now. I dont want worms to eat me and i dont want to be burned to death.
2.)*awkward silence* My brother's death i used to day dream we could do things together. It didnt turn out that way. Everything is not how its planned.
3.)One awake, we all drank *laughs* sat around for hours. Shared funny moments.
4.)I feel sad and wish i wasnt there. *laughs*
5.)Yes,yes i do.
6.)i wish we didnt have them *laughs*
My Friend Kenny
1.)Question you never think about. Whatever easy on the family.
2.)I remeber them all. Probably my dad, started with my grandma. Each one is just important as the other. Part of your life. Grandparents are suppose to go first.
3.)Yes and about 6
4.)Uhm, well it makes you feel sad because there's a death in your life.
5.)Yes because you almost have to. Thats what you're living for. Its like you believe in Santa Claus till they tell you different same with afterlife.
6.)Whats the alternative? What else they gonna do with you? You dont wanna get zapped.
My Friend Kimberly
1.)I would like to be cremated. Not to sound stupid but because i hear when they bury you with w.e you have to steal it. And because i liked my family to feel that im still with them if they keep them or even take some ashes to places i've wanted to go.
2.)My uncle..when i i found out he killed himself. I was 7. My family told me he had a tummyache and then my aunt(who spills out all the drama) told me the truth..He was my favorite uncle. I couldnt stop talking about him. I wrote stories and stuff EVERY YEAR, the teachers had to have a meeting with my parents about it.
3.)Yea my uncles, some guy, this lady's, and my mom's aunt so 4 that i can remeber.
4.)To me it depends on the person. i went to funerals where everyone is joking around either because we didnt know them too well or because thats the only way we could take the pain away. And then i been to funerals where we just cried because that person meant so much to you. Its a scary environment because you're just imagining yourself in that coffin and wondering how people will react to you.
5.)I do but i dont. i think we all say "hes all in a better place now" because we all know they werent meant too be alive but then again where do they really go? Heaven or hell? who's the judge of that?
6.)I feel like, its the least they can do to bring everyone who loved the person all together to lrealize every moment in life is precious in their life being gone. They must do what they can before its their time, sometimes it scares me though. Like i cant look at them because it just me think of my uncle.
When my friend Dakota she didnt know either cremation or buried. I was kind of surprised looking back on it because everybody i spoke to or know have decided on how they want to be left when they die. Everybody i feel didnt know how to handle the questions very well. At one point one of them started to cry and i felt bad about it. It's a very hard topic to talk about let alone think about. You dont really want to think about your death situation until maybe till it happens. Interviewing people about this topic, i never realize how much of an impact it could have on you just as the interviewer. It makes you think a lot of about the who, what,where,when, etc on death. Is it really what it is all put out to be? Or are we living a dream?
Throughout this unit i hope to gain more insight on the caring of the death and see if any of my ideas change as well. i noticed also when i interviewed my friends, there were always these pauses and constant silence like they didnt know what to say or answer the question like they were scared or something. I found it kind of weird. I didnt think they were that bad.
1.)When you die, how would you like to happen to your body? Why?
2.)What was your first experience with death? How did you feel?
3.)Have you ever attended a funeral/awake? If so, how many?
4.)When you're in that kind of environment, how does it make you feel?
5.)Do you believe in after life?
6.)How do you feel about the dominant social practices of the care of the dead in society today?
My Friend Dakota
1.)I personally want to be cremated. Just the thought of what happens beneathe the ground. I dont want to be buried. I would rather be cremated. I also dont want people crying. I want everybody to enjoy themselves.
2.)My uhm grandmother,i had seen other deaths but yea. I felt sad. i didnt understand. I didnt want her to be sick. We all are gonna have our time.
3.)Yes i have and multiple.
4.)It makes me feel sad because you reflect on the person's life and the moments you had with them.
5.)Im in the middle. I believe in it and then i dont. Im partial.
6.)I think its good.
My friend Lissy
1.)I honestly have mixed emotions right now. I dont want worms to eat me and i dont want to be burned to death.
2.)*awkward silence* My brother's death i used to day dream we could do things together. It didnt turn out that way. Everything is not how its planned.
3.)One awake, we all drank *laughs* sat around for hours. Shared funny moments.
4.)I feel sad and wish i wasnt there. *laughs*
5.)Yes,yes i do.
6.)i wish we didnt have them *laughs*
My Friend Kenny
1.)Question you never think about. Whatever easy on the family.
2.)I remeber them all. Probably my dad, started with my grandma. Each one is just important as the other. Part of your life. Grandparents are suppose to go first.
3.)Yes and about 6
4.)Uhm, well it makes you feel sad because there's a death in your life.
5.)Yes because you almost have to. Thats what you're living for. Its like you believe in Santa Claus till they tell you different same with afterlife.
6.)Whats the alternative? What else they gonna do with you? You dont wanna get zapped.
My Friend Kimberly
1.)I would like to be cremated. Not to sound stupid but because i hear when they bury you with w.e you have to steal it. And because i liked my family to feel that im still with them if they keep them or even take some ashes to places i've wanted to go.
2.)My uncle..when i i found out he killed himself. I was 7. My family told me he had a tummyache and then my aunt(who spills out all the drama) told me the truth..He was my favorite uncle. I couldnt stop talking about him. I wrote stories and stuff EVERY YEAR, the teachers had to have a meeting with my parents about it.
3.)Yea my uncles, some guy, this lady's, and my mom's aunt so 4 that i can remeber.
4.)To me it depends on the person. i went to funerals where everyone is joking around either because we didnt know them too well or because thats the only way we could take the pain away. And then i been to funerals where we just cried because that person meant so much to you. Its a scary environment because you're just imagining yourself in that coffin and wondering how people will react to you.
5.)I do but i dont. i think we all say "hes all in a better place now" because we all know they werent meant too be alive but then again where do they really go? Heaven or hell? who's the judge of that?
6.)I feel like, its the least they can do to bring everyone who loved the person all together to lrealize every moment in life is precious in their life being gone. They must do what they can before its their time, sometimes it scares me though. Like i cant look at them because it just me think of my uncle.
When my friend Dakota she didnt know either cremation or buried. I was kind of surprised looking back on it because everybody i spoke to or know have decided on how they want to be left when they die. Everybody i feel didnt know how to handle the questions very well. At one point one of them started to cry and i felt bad about it. It's a very hard topic to talk about let alone think about. You dont really want to think about your death situation until maybe till it happens. Interviewing people about this topic, i never realize how much of an impact it could have on you just as the interviewer. It makes you think a lot of about the who, what,where,when, etc on death. Is it really what it is all put out to be? Or are we living a dream?
Throughout this unit i hope to gain more insight on the caring of the death and see if any of my ideas change as well. i noticed also when i interviewed my friends, there were always these pauses and constant silence like they didnt know what to say or answer the question like they were scared or something. I found it kind of weird. I didnt think they were that bad.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
HW#46 - Initial Thoughts on the Care of the Dead
When it comes to death i experienced a lot. Coming up from my family when someone dies in our family you should always pay your respects to that person. A majority of my family members who have passed away has always held an awake or some sort and most of them have been in Spanish. In the Hispanic culture they are very religionist based especially coming together with god and heaven. When my grandfather passed away, i remember so many people being there who i didn't even know you knew me which was the weird part. I feel like whenever someone in your family passes away, it brings all these people together who don't even know just for that one person. It feels kind of awkward and weird. Looking at him in the coffin was so unnatural just by the fact it wasn't "him". When i visited him in the hospital and saw his body there, it was completely different seeing him all dressed up.
I noticed many things throughout my life during the death experiences i had. Why is that people must always all black when attending a funeral home? Why is that particular color a "sign"? Another thing is that awakes last so many hours. Why spend so many hours looking a dead person if it's going to make you cry even more? Growing up i only heard of cremation and buried. I never really heard of other techniques being used for the dead unless in the perspective of a different country. A lot of people when they bury someone they day that they died, they tend too forget about them later on. Its as if only that die was the most important and the other days don't matter. Lot of dead people are often forgotten later on in life.
Looking at the birth unit and the care of the dead unit they are very simliar in some aspects by the fact they a re sensitive topics. When a woman is pregnant you are suppose to be sensitive towards her and gentle because of the fact she is having a baby. It is very sacred. With a dead person, you are very sympathetic by the fact someone has died to that person and to other people as well. Both are overwhelming topics. Hopefully throughout this unit i will be able to learn more other perspectives from other people as well as Andy.
I noticed many things throughout my life during the death experiences i had. Why is that people must always all black when attending a funeral home? Why is that particular color a "sign"? Another thing is that awakes last so many hours. Why spend so many hours looking a dead person if it's going to make you cry even more? Growing up i only heard of cremation and buried. I never really heard of other techniques being used for the dead unless in the perspective of a different country. A lot of people when they bury someone they day that they died, they tend too forget about them later on. Its as if only that die was the most important and the other days don't matter. Lot of dead people are often forgotten later on in life.
Looking at the birth unit and the care of the dead unit they are very simliar in some aspects by the fact they a re sensitive topics. When a woman is pregnant you are suppose to be sensitive towards her and gentle because of the fact she is having a baby. It is very sacred. With a dead person, you are very sympathetic by the fact someone has died to that person and to other people as well. Both are overwhelming topics. Hopefully throughout this unit i will be able to learn more other perspectives from other people as well as Andy.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
HW#45 - Reply to Other Peoples' Comments
To Brandon,
It was understandable that you were unable to give me positive feedback since i didnt have enough information on the Indian Birth Rituals on my blog. Next time i will surely provied enough given information on my topic in order to do better commenting for you and other people.
To Younger Person,
I appreciate the fact that you understood my overasll point that Indian births are much different from American births and how they have different stages going about how their baby is born. As i said for Brandon i will write more on the blog to get a better insight from the birth rituals taken place in India.
It was understandable that you were unable to give me positive feedback since i didnt have enough information on the Indian Birth Rituals on my blog. Next time i will surely provied enough given information on my topic in order to do better commenting for you and other people.
To Younger Person,
I appreciate the fact that you understood my overasll point that Indian births are much different from American births and how they have different stages going about how their baby is born. As i said for Brandon i will write more on the blog to get a better insight from the birth rituals taken place in India.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
HW#44 - Comments on Other People's Projects
Kristin
In Brazil, abortions are illegal compared to the United States it is legal to terminate the baby. In Brazil is is considered a sin and you shall be punished for committing such a crime as killing a baby.
The part that you talked about the 9 year old being raped by her step father then later having an abortion because her physical body was not ready to have a set of twins i thought was very intriguing and heart felt. She was very young and it is unheard to hear something like that happen in the U.S.
I believe that abortions should be opened to everybody not excluded from different countries especially Brazil. If people in the U.S can have them so do the woman in Brazil have the right way also. Its not a crime as the women being raped but more so the girl terminating the child.
Larche
Women who have infertility are treated differently from women who can conceived. They are rejected from others and considered the bad in the bunch basically and become excluded from others.
When you talked about the woman from Mumbai and how she was impacted by the fact she couldn't have children for 13 years. She was rejected a lot by others and her identity was based on how many children she had.
It makes me think about my future and if i wasn't able to conceive any kids and how it would effect me as a person. I wouldn't want to be in that position such as that woman and feel as if i lost myself. Nobody deserves that.
Willie
Lots of women after they have babies suffer from Post-Partum Depression because of the changing of the body or having negative thoughts. Women who suffer from this can sometimes cannot take care of their child and have mood swings.
It crazy that some women wouldn't even know if they are suffering from depression. They can have all these possible symptoms and they could possibly hurt themselves and their child from this sickness without even knowing.
I never heard of anyone suffering from post-partum depression. I feel like it shows another side of birth because you don't hear it often from people that they have been depressed from giving birth.
What are some statistics in the United States of women who suffer from this sickness? Does it vary from C-Sections from Natural birth? Or both? What causes it?
Michelle
During the pregnancy it seems that the male has the right to do everything rather than the woman giving birth but when the labor is in action it seems that the male/father is not present more so the mother(grandmother) and the female family members but then again it depends the gender role attitudes.
I like how you said not only do the women in the U.S prefer female doctors but so do women in India too. Both women know what they want or prefer. No matter where your from all the women seem to have the same stigma.
I thought that it related a lot to my project because i wanted to learn the birth culture in India as well. I feel like it's something different from what we hear everyday and good to hear other's people views on things we might not agree on as well.
Brandon
Being able to learn more in depth of being pregnant and having another human inside of you and the effects that it had on you. Being able to deal with the physical and emotional appearances.
I like how the how the last woman said "The most amazing thing you'll experience in life is seeing another human being born. It was such an emotional moment, one I will hold onto forever", i thought that that was very touching and a tear dropper.
It nice hearing other people's perspective of being pregnant. Hopefully when i have my child, i will have some of those good thoughts also being able to relate to them as well. You never can understand until it actually happens to you.
In Brazil, abortions are illegal compared to the United States it is legal to terminate the baby. In Brazil is is considered a sin and you shall be punished for committing such a crime as killing a baby.
The part that you talked about the 9 year old being raped by her step father then later having an abortion because her physical body was not ready to have a set of twins i thought was very intriguing and heart felt. She was very young and it is unheard to hear something like that happen in the U.S.
I believe that abortions should be opened to everybody not excluded from different countries especially Brazil. If people in the U.S can have them so do the woman in Brazil have the right way also. Its not a crime as the women being raped but more so the girl terminating the child.
Larche
Women who have infertility are treated differently from women who can conceived. They are rejected from others and considered the bad in the bunch basically and become excluded from others.
When you talked about the woman from Mumbai and how she was impacted by the fact she couldn't have children for 13 years. She was rejected a lot by others and her identity was based on how many children she had.
It makes me think about my future and if i wasn't able to conceive any kids and how it would effect me as a person. I wouldn't want to be in that position such as that woman and feel as if i lost myself. Nobody deserves that.
Willie
Lots of women after they have babies suffer from Post-Partum Depression because of the changing of the body or having negative thoughts. Women who suffer from this can sometimes cannot take care of their child and have mood swings.
It crazy that some women wouldn't even know if they are suffering from depression. They can have all these possible symptoms and they could possibly hurt themselves and their child from this sickness without even knowing.
I never heard of anyone suffering from post-partum depression. I feel like it shows another side of birth because you don't hear it often from people that they have been depressed from giving birth.
What are some statistics in the United States of women who suffer from this sickness? Does it vary from C-Sections from Natural birth? Or both? What causes it?
Michelle
During the pregnancy it seems that the male has the right to do everything rather than the woman giving birth but when the labor is in action it seems that the male/father is not present more so the mother(grandmother) and the female family members but then again it depends the gender role attitudes.
I like how you said not only do the women in the U.S prefer female doctors but so do women in India too. Both women know what they want or prefer. No matter where your from all the women seem to have the same stigma.
I thought that it related a lot to my project because i wanted to learn the birth culture in India as well. I feel like it's something different from what we hear everyday and good to hear other's people views on things we might not agree on as well.
Brandon
Being able to learn more in depth of being pregnant and having another human inside of you and the effects that it had on you. Being able to deal with the physical and emotional appearances.
I like how the how the last woman said "The most amazing thing you'll experience in life is seeing another human being born. It was such an emotional moment, one I will hold onto forever", i thought that that was very touching and a tear dropper.
It nice hearing other people's perspective of being pregnant. Hopefully when i have my child, i will have some of those good thoughts also being able to relate to them as well. You never can understand until it actually happens to you.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
HW#42 - Pregnancy & birth culminating project
Ally and I looked up research on Indian Birth Rituals and found out the different techniques they use in the Hindu Culture. Also the different statistics involving religion to. Its very different from American culture. They go through a series of stages. Our posterboard is above showing some background information on the Indian Culture.
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